* you ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill
is free.
* you know more than one plans offered by long distance telephone
companies.
* you take plain water instead of Coke for lunch.
* you take any drink with no ice because you can't drink ice
* you ask before eating any meat "Is this beef?"
* you try to ignore all other unknown desis around you.
* you know all the facilities available at public library.
* you talk to americans as if you represent your whole country
* your stove in the apartment is covered with aluminum foil.
* you frequent to yard sales every week.
* you find taco bell sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
* your dinner involves spreading newspaper on living room floor.
* you take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
*you are so concerned about diet, but you dont workout
* you like onion rings at Burger King.
* your are looking for dual voltage electric/electronic appliances.
* the phrase "When are you going to India" comes into yourconversation
at least once a day.
* you bought Toyota or Honda car only because it has better resale
value.
* the number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
* you keep switching your internet service provider because first month
is free.
* you go back to your apartment for lunch.
* your full name contains more than 15 characters.
* you know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
* the only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is
free food.
* you have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted
to save money spent on cheap motel.
* you don't know any American outside your work.
* you tried to flirt with the Hindi speaking operator at AT&T.
* you have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
* you know how much a 7 layer burrito costs at Taco Bell.
* you run to Laundromat in your lungi.
* you never clean you ears until your hearing is low.
*you eat so much spice during lunch and dont bother about you breath
*your shirt does not match your pants.
*you wear sports shoes and dress pants.
*your socks does not match you pants or shirt.
* put oil in your hair.
* you have a picture of Indian deity on the dashboard of your car.
* this thought comes to you "Oh shit I just saw another desi" when you
are window shopping at a local mall.
* you keep comparing prices at circuit city for the phone you bought
six months ago.
* the lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.
*the main conversation between two desis is GC or money related (stocks)
*you monitor stocks at your work place
* you are compelled to visit ever major city in US, just so as to say
that "Yes I have been there ".
* you are comfortable with an American than an ABCD.
* you have been to Mexico or Canada for multiple entry H1 Visa.
* you pay your bills the day they come in mail.
* spent 2 days cleaning your apartment before leaving so you can get
full security refund from landlord.
* have a bucket in your bath tub.
* you have to borrow luggage from friends for India visit.
* the smoke detector goes off whenever your are cooking dinner.
* you know which grocery store keeps coriander.
* you buy butter milk before you run out of it.
* you use grocery bags as garbage bags.
* you say 'Damn I have already seen this show" when ever you are
watching Married With Children.
* you buy rice in the 20 pound bags.
* office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.
* you don't want to buy a printer because you can always use the office
printer.
* you have postponed buying answering machine because the computer you
are planning to buy six months later has in built answering machine.
* your idea of fun involves bowling.
* you starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B
as in boy , T as in train ...well you get the idea.
* you ask another desi if he/she ever got a traffic ticket.
* you haven't had a single female in your apartment besides your
friends
wife.
* you circulate Playboy's Lingerie edition amongst your friends.
* you bring over the counter medicines like Iodex and Vicks from India.
* decide to marry a girl, your parents fixed without even meeting her
Last Updated: Sunday, October 04, 1998