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- Movies
- Firefox : America's ace pilot penetrates Russian security and races against time to steal the Firefox, the world's most devastating aircraft - a futuristic MiG-31 that flies at six times the speed of sound and is armed with weapons triggered by pilot brain waves. A spectacular thousand-mile dogfight climaxes the thriller directed by star Clint Eastwood
- [City of Angels]
- [The Mask of Zorro]
- City of Angels
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- The University of Hard Knocks
- [Books] > The University of Hard Knocks
- **The Project Gutenberg Etext of The University of Hard Knocks**
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- The University of Hard Knocks
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- The University of Hard Knocks
- "Sweet are the uses of adversity;
- MORE than a million people have sat in audiences in all parts of
- the United States and have listened to "The University of Hard
- kinds of audiences. Ralph Parlette is kept busy year after year
- of many deliveries.
- shake the hand of every person who has sat in my audiences. And I
- wish I could tell the lecture committees of America how I
- appreciate the vast amount of altruistic work they have done in
- bringing the audiences of America together. For lecture audiences
- The warm reception given "The University of Hard Knocks" by the
- public, has encouraged the publishers to put more of Mr. Parlette's
- are now in preparation as this, the third edition of "The
- University of Hard Knocks" comes from the press.
- The University of Hard Knocks
- I. THE BOOKS ARE BUMPS--Every bump a lesson--Why the two kinds of
- bumps--Description of University--"Sweet are the uses of
- II. THE COLLEGE OF NEEDLESS KNOCKS, the bumps that we bump
- into--Getting the coffee-pot--Teaching a wilful child--Bumps make
- III. THE COLLEGE OF NEEDFUL KNOCKS, the bumps that bump into
- ones shake up and the little ones shake down--The barrel of life
- people--A glimpse of Gunsaulus
- VI. THE PROBLEM OF "PREPAREDNESS"--Preparing children for
- children--The story of "Gussie" and "Bill Whackem"--Schools and
- Menace of America not swollen fortunes but shrunken souls--
- Helping the turkeys killed them--the happiness of work we love--
- Amusement drunkards--Lure of the city--Strong men from the
- Must save the home towns--A school of struggle--New School
- VII. THE SALVATION OF A "SUCKER"--You can't get something for
- experience--Theory and practice--Tuning the strings of life
- VIII. LOOKING BACKWARD--Memories of the price we pay--My first
- school teaching--Loaning the deacon my money--Calling the roll of
- my schoolmates--At the grave of the boy I had envied--Why Ben Hur
- but stop--Few go on south--The plague of incompetents--Today our
- principle, not praise--Doing duty for the joy of it--Becoming the
- "Father of Waters"--Go on south forever!
- you some of the multiplication table of life--not mine, not yours
- lecture go differently before every audience. The kind of an
- audience is just as important as the kind of a lecture. A cold
- When I was a boy we had a barrel of sorghum in the woodshed. When
- the woodshed to get a bucket of sorghum from that barrel.
- I have brought a barrel of sorghum to this audience. The name of
- the sorghum is "The University of Hard Knocks." I can only pull the
- of this audience. You can have all you want of it, but to get it to
- it. How much any one gets out of a lecture depends also upon the
- size of the bucket he brings to get it in. A big bucket can get
- That often explains why one person says a lecture is great, while
- the next person says he got nothing out of it.
- Here is a great mass of words and sentences and pictures to express
- two or three simple little ideas of life, that our education is our
- promote mental digestion like more bulk in the way of pictures and
- discussions of these truths. Here is bulk as well as nutriment.
- I believe in the Angel of Good inside every block of human marble.
- I believe it must be carved out in The University of Hard Knocks.
- see more of the Angel in you.
- The University of Hard Knocks
- THE greatest school is the University of Hard Knocks. Its books are
- matter with us, so that we do not learn the lesson of the bump we
- Some of us learn to go forward with a few bumps, but most of us are
- The tuition in the University of Hard Knocks is not free.
- Experience is the dearest teacher in the world. Most of us spend
- our lives in the A-B-C's of getting started.
- There are two kinds of people--wise people and fools. The fools are
- The playground is all of God's universe.
- The Need of the Bumps
- "Sweet are the uses of adversity;
- get preachers to preach sermons, and they build houses out of
- happy that I am learning the sweet tho painful lessons of the
- University of Adversity. I am happy that I am beginning to listen.
- preaching and every running brook the unfolding of a book.
- But if you will remember some of these things, they will feel like
- two kinds of bumps--bumps that we need and bumps that we do not
- We discover, in other words, that The University of Hard Knocks has
- two colleges--The College of Needless Knocks and The College of
- The College of Needless Knocks
- There comes a vivid memory of one of my early Needless Knocks as I
- That day they had the little joy and sunshine of the family in his
- high-chair throne right up beside the dinner table. The coffee-pot
- I became enamored with that coffee-pot. I decided I needed that
- coffee-pot in my business. I reached over to get the coffee-pot.
- And that day when I wanted the coffee-pot--I did want it. Nobody
- how I desired that coffee-pot. "One thing thou lackest," a
- coffee-pot--
- I stopped it. I got the coffee-pot. I know I got the coffee-pot. I
- got it. I got about a gallon of the reddest, hottest coffee a bad
- applebutter on me--and coal oil and white-of-an-egg and starch and
- anything else the neighbors could think of. They would bring it
- over and rub it on the little joy and sunshine of the family, who
- pleased. She told me not to get the coffee-pot and then let me get
- the most kind and effective way to rear one stubborn boy I know of.
- The neighbors and the ladies' aid society often said my mother was
- kind of an insect mother was trying to raise. Mother did know. She
- "side of the house."
- notice upon me, and then let me go ahead and get my coffee-pot.
- coffee-pot would spill upon me. I cannot remember when I disobeyed
- my mother that a coffee-pot of some kind did not spill upon me, and I
- got my blisters. Mother did not inflict them. Mother was not much of an
- And thru the bumps we learn that The College of Needless Knocks
- runs on the same plan. The Voice of Wisdom says to each of us,
- "Child of humanity, do right, walk in the right path. You will be
- We get off the right path. We go down forbidden paths. They seem
- It wasn't my fault--all my bumps and coffee-pots! I was just
- to learn the lesson of the bump and find the right path, so that
- The other day I watched a blind man go down the aisle of the car to
- get off the train. Did you ever study the walk of a blind man? He
- line of least resistance, depend upon it you are going downward.
- Look over your community. Note the handful of brave, faithful,
- getting in the way of the pushers.
- brave minority of thinking, self-sacrificing people that decides
- the tomorrow of communities that go upward. Majorities are not
- Human life is the story of the Prodigal Son. We look over the fence
- of goodness into the mystery of the great unknown world beyond and
- Down the great white way of the world go the million prodigals,
- They just must get their coffee-pot!
- The last thing Mamma Fly said as Johnny went off to the city was,
- several minutes. But when he sees all the smart young flies of his
- right, of course, but she isn't up-to-date. We young set of modern
- You see Johnny fly back and forth and have the time of his
- so soft and soothing!"
- First he puts one foot down and pulls it out. That is a lot of fun.
- flypaper. It is a fine place to stick around. All his young set of
- Most of them stay. They just settle down into the stickiness
- The tuition in The College of Needless Knocks is very high indeed!
- The world loves to write resolutions of respect. How often we
- There is a good deal of suicide charged up to Providence.
- The College of Needful Knocks
- BUT occasionally all of us get bumps that we do not bump into. They
- were bumped. Some of you in this audience are just now wondering
- are lessons in The College of Needful Knocks. They point upward to
- most of these knocks--who have faced the great crises of life and
- have been tried in the crucibles of affliction. For I am learning
- The Sorrows of the Piano
- see you. You are so shiny, beautiful, valuable and full of music,
- Did you get the meaning of that, children? I hope you are green.
- The Sufferings of the Red Mud
- One day I was up the Missabe road about a hundred miles north of
- hole--about a half-mile of hole. There were steam-shovels at work
- throwing out of that hole what I thought was red mud.
- "Kind sir, why are they throwing that red mud out of that hole?" I
- of this same red mud. It had been moved over the Great Lakes and
- of which being The College of Needful Knocks for Red Mud.
- Then they pulled the plug out of the bottom of the college and held
- Some of the pig iron went into another department, a big teakettle,
- Some of the sophomore steel went up into another grade where it was
- roasted yet again and rolled thin into a junior. Some of that went
- If a ton of that red mud had become watch-springs or razor-blades,
- the price had gone up into thousands of dollars.
- a larger life. The diamond and the chunk of soft coal are exactly the
- of Needful Knocks more than has her crude sister of the coal-scuttle.
- crucibles of affliction. There is no gold that has not been refined
- right down to the foot of the platform. The subject was The
- University of Hard Knocks. Presently the cripple's face was shining
- said. "I have been in pain most of my life. But I have learned all
- well-gowned. She lived in one of the finest homes in the city. She
- What would you have said? Just on the spur of the moment--I said,
- The cripple girl had traveled ahead of her jealous mother. For
- Schools of Sympathy
- When I see a long row of cots in a hospital or sanitarium, I want
- precious lessons of patience, sympathy, love, faith and courage.
- more than tables of logarithms. Only those who have suffered can
- sympathize. They are to become a precious part of our population.
- are truly new chapters of our education if we are willing to learn
- We think this is true of the good things that come to us, but we do
- not want to think so of the bad things. Yet we grow more in lean
- prosperity do not often travel hand-in-hand. When we become
- materially very prosperous, so many of us begin to say, "Is not
- Think of what might happen to you today. Your home might burn. We
- look out! Some of your friends would say, "I am so sorry for you.
- for it is not true. The old enemy of humanity wants you to believe
- The truth is, another chapter of your real education has been
- opened. Will you read the lesson of the Needful Knocks?
- Out of the trenches of the Great War come nations chastened by
- sacrifice and purged of their dross.
- NOW as we learn the lessons of the Needless and the Needful Knocks,
- a picture of it.
- track was a grocery with a row of barrels of apples in front. There
- was one barrel full of big, red, fat apples. I rushed over and got
- a sack of the big, red, fat apples. Later as the train was under
- All I could figure out was that there was only one layer of the
- have reached to the bottom, for he gave me the worst mess of runts
- Man of sorrows, you have been slandered. It never occurred to me
- need to do it. It does itself. It is the shaking of the barrel that
- in the Black Swamp of Ohio we had corduroy roads. Did you ever see
- a corduroy road? It was a layer of logs in the mud. Riding over it
- was the poetry of motion! The wagon "hit the high spots." And as I
- hauled a wagon-bed full of apples to the cider-mill over a corduroy
- of my pocket and the little ones would rattle down to the bottom.
- big ones and some little things of about the same density in a box
- you cannot change the place of one of the objects.
- inside of it you see two sizes of objects--a lot of little white
- Equality of position demands quality of size. Let the little one
- The Shaking Barrel of Life
- O, fellow apples! We are all apples in the barrel of life on the
- way to the market place of the future. It is a corduroy road and
- In other words, all the people of the world are in the great barrel
- of life. That barrel is shaking all the time. Every community is
- shaking, every place is shaking. The offices, the shops, the
- live or work is shaking. Life is a constant survival of the
- barrel of life. It is sending small people down and great people
- the eternal law of life.
- our train of destiny will run off and leave us, and we will have no
- Kings and Queens of Destiny
- you and I are not helpless victims of blind fate. We are not
- creatures of chance. We have it in our hands to decide our destiny
- Each person is doing one of three things consciously or
- shops, offices or elsewhere, if you want to hold your place you
- of people working for me, I would have a jar in my office filled
- with various sizes of objects. When an employee would come into the
- office and say, "Isn't it about time I was getting a raise?" I
- Luck does not depend upon the direction of the bump, but upon the
- size of the bump-ee!
- to size. Every business concern can tell you stories like that of
- the Chicago house where a number of young ladies worked. Some of
- girl from the country. It was her first office experience, and she
- "Is not she the limit?" they oft spake one to another. She was. She
- rules of the union! Without being told, mind you. She had that rare
- Within three months every other girl in that office was asking
- questions of the little Dutch girl. She had learned more about
- the most capable girl in the office.
- The barrel did the rest. Today she is giving orders to all of them,
- for she is the office superintendent.
- Going out of the building, I asked the foreman, "Do you see that
- He is one of the kindest-hearted men we ever had in the works, but
- So books could be filled with just such stories of how people have
- Some of us begin life on the top branches, right in the sunshine of
- Some of us begin down in the shade on the bottom branches, and we
- do not even get invited. We often become discouraged as we look at
- And afterwhile we are all in the barrel of life, shaken and bumped
- about. There the real people do not often ask us, "On what branch
- of that tree did you grow?" But they often inquire, "Are you big
- appear to have about the same round of duties.
- routine of life must every day flash a new attractiveness. We must
- smaller. The joy and juice go out of our lives. We shrivel and rattle.
- The success, joy and glory of life are in learning, growing, going
- competitors. The minister must be getting larger visions of the
- I shiver as I see the pages of school advertisements in the
- We often think the way to get a great place is just to go after it
- many of us expect to get ready in "four easy lessons by mail."
- rattling. A testimonial so often becomes a crutch.
- Many a man writes a testimonial to get rid of somebody. "Well, I
- hope it will do him some good. Anyhow, I have gotten him off my
- The Menace of the Press-Notice
- Now testimonials and press-notices very often serve useful ends. In
- lyceum work, in teaching, in very many lines, they are often useful
- to introduce a stranger. A letter of introduction is useful. A
- kinds of testimonials.
- The danger is that the hero of them may get to leaning upon them.
- Then they become a mirror for his vanity instead of a monitor
- progress by reading my press-notices instead of listening to the
- verdict of my audiences. I avoided frank criticism. It would hurt
- Alas! How often I have learned that when I did return the hall that
- editors of America--God bless them! They are always trying to boost
- a home enterprise--not for the sake of the imported attraction but
- for the sake of the home folks who import it.
- yourself go by"--when you can keep still and see every fibre of you
- rejoice, for the kingdom of success is yours.
- succeeded by twice as many more. They fail because instead of
- The victims of the artificial uplift cannot stay uplifted. They
- rattle back, and "the last estate of that man is worse than the
- wants you to license him and professionalize him as a beggar.
- And so every day that beggar got to be more of a beggar. The public
- hopeless cripple. No doubt he belonged after a few days of the
- as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise
- Artful Dodger of Section Sixteen. When the whistle would blow--O,
- the section-house, why I was not president of that bank. I wondered
- why I was not sitting upon one of those mahogany seats instead of
- rich wasn't getting richer and the poor poorer, I'd be president of a
- Did you ever hear that line of conversation? It generally comes
- I am so glad now that I did not get to be president of the bank.
- wanted them! They would have been coffee-pots. Thank goodness, we
- do not get the coffee-pot until we are ready to handle it.
- And this blessed old barrel of life is just waiting and anxious to
- greatness is merely an incidental reflection of the inside.
- in inches, dollars, acres, votes, hurrahs, or by any other of the
- Come, let us grow greater. There is a throne for each of us.
- the world is in the business of getting--getting great fortunes,
- folderol. Afterwhile the poor old world hears the empty rattle of
- I weary of the world's pink-sheet extras about "Getting to the Top"
- and "Forging to the Front." Too often they are the sordid story of
- a few scrambling over the heads of the weaker ones. Sometimes they
- are the story of one pig crowding the other pigs out of the trough
- The Secret of Greatness
- top." Those two sons of Zebedee wanted to have the greatest places
- "Are ye able to drink of the cup?" Then he gave the only definition
- of greatness that can ever stand: "Whosoever will be great among
- This is the Big Business of life--going up, getting educated,
- is little business. Much of it mighty little.
- Everybody's privilege and duty is to become great. And the joy of
- to go off to New York or Chicago or go chasing around the world to
- are now upward for an infinite number of steps.
- We must take the first step now. Most of us want to take the
- spectacular stride of a thousand steps at one leap. That is why we
- workshop or our office and take the first step, solve the problem
- blessings, we find love, the universal solvent, shining out of our
- of earth are born; they rush in from the cold lands to the warm
- We find our kitchen or workshop or office becoming a new throne
- of power. We find the world around us rising up to call us blessed.
- Generally speaking, the smaller our vision of our work, the more we
- ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." That great ocean is
- have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she
- of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had."
- Tho the rich men had cast in more, yet it was only a part of their
- Master cared little what the footings of the money were in the
- fear of want.
- advancement of the kingdom of happiness on earth shall find it
- upon the percentage of our output to our resources. Upon doing with
- The world says some of us have golden gifts and some have copper
- gifts. But when we cast them all into the treasury of right
- to make a roster of the great people of a community. You will find
- service of God is the service of man.
- The great people of the community serve and sacrifice for a better
- They rarely get thanked, for the community does not often think of
- thanking them until it comes time to draft the "resolutions of
- I had to go to the mouth of a coal-mine in a little Illinois town,
- the tickets and had done all the managing. He was superintendent of
- the Sunday school. He was the storm-center of every altruistic
- strut and pose in the show places. Few of them are "prominent
- A Glimpse of Gunsaulus
- he founded by his own preaching. He is the mainspring of so many
- think that a vacation means going off somewhere and stretching out
- history of each place, and before dinner he knew more about the
- place than most of the natives.
- were doing nothing. In every town he would discover somebody of
- once ask the price of land, nor where there was a good investment
- doesn't the doctor take care of himself, instead of taking care of
- the by-products. His life of service for others makes him
- This Chicago man gives his life into the service of humanity, and
- things he does. Let him stop and "take care of himself," and his
- If he had begun life by "taking care of himself" and "looking out
- the backwoods of Morrow county, Ohio.
- Gunsaulus often says, "You are planning and saving and telling
- The Problem of "Preparedness"
- THE problem of "preparedness" is the problem of preparing children
- for life. All other kinds of "preparedness" fade into
- insignificance before this. The history of nations shows that their
- strength was not in the size of their armies and in the vastness
- of their population and wealth, but in the strength and ideals
- of the individual citizens.
- Then, forgetful of how they became strong, they plan to take away
- generally means getting out of his way. Many an orphan can be
- will buy any brand they see--buy the home brand of education, or
- else send off to New York or Paris or to "Sears Roebuck," and get
- a bucketful or a tankful of education. If they are rich enough,
- maybe they will have a private pipeline of education laid to their
- until they get them full of education. They are going to get them
- acquired in a life of struggle." As well expect the athlete to give
- them his physical development he has earned in years of exercise.
- acquired in years of practice. As well expect the scholar to give
- them the ability to think he has developed in years of study. As
- in a long life of prayer.
- The Story of "Gussie"
- great, dirty mill and a lot of little dirty houses around the mill.
- The hands lived in the little dirty houses and worked six days of
- There was a little, old man who went about that mill, often saying,
- "I hain't got no book l'arnin' like the rest of you." He was the
- man who owned the mill. He had made it with his own genius out of
- The little old man often said, "I'm going to give that boy the best
- export, he sent the boy to one of the greatest universities in the
- blindness of his love he robbed his boy of his birthright.
- The birthright of every child is the opportunity of becoming
- great--of going up--of getting educated.
- from Texas goes thru Mr. Armour's institute of packnology in
- and receives it. There is a row of professors with their sleeves
- rolled up who give him the degrees. So as Mr. T. Steer of Panhandle
- eternal cold storage, each professor hits him a dab. He rides along
- done and the paint was dry. He was a thing of beauty.
- crape hanging on the office door. Men and women stood weeping in
- a wreck. The monument of a father's lifetime was wrecked in two
- had a new kind of boss. If I were to give the new boss a
- of the wrecked mill, they simply had to appoint Hon. William Whackem.
- fool of Gussie. They said Bill succeeded so well because he never
- went to one of "them highbrow schools." I am sorry to say I thought
- But now I see that Bill went up in spite of his handicaps. If he
- The book and the college suffer at the hands of their friends. They
- Gussie was in the position of a man with a very fine equipment of
- acquired these elements of greatness in their lives.
- That is why they say, "All my life I have been handicapped by lack of
- machine from a few bits of junk. But send him to Westinghouse and
- just one series of greater commencements.
- school of service and write your education in the only book you
- ever can know--the book of your experience.
- The Tragedy of Unpreparedness
- The story of Gussie and Bill Whackem is being written in every
- tragedy of our American civilization today.
- fine homes and large bank accounts, so often think they can give
- A man heard me telling the story of Gussie and Bill Whackem, and he
- went out of my audience very indignant. He said he was very glad
- has his head bowed in shame over the career of his spoiled son.
- I rarely tell of it on a platform that at the close of the lecture
- gibbeted in the pulpits as the shocking example of youthful
- a man. He seems to have been robbed of his birthright from the
- cradle. Yet the father of this boy who has cost America millions in
- court and detention expenses was one of the greatest business
- generals of the Keystone state. He could plat great coal empires
- and command armies of men, but he seems to have been pitifully
- ignorant of the fact that the barrel shakes.
- the training of their children. Poverty is a better trainer for the rest.
- The menace of America lies not in the swollen fortunes, but in the
- how few of our strong men get their start with steam heat?
- take care of me, and when they are gone I'll inherit everything
- earn for yourself, is robbing you of your birthright.
- insect struggling inside the cocoon. It was trying to get out of
- struggle. For it was this struggle of breaking its own way out of
- lie down to sleep, then another day of the same grind, then a year
- of it and years following until our machine is worn out and on the
- of the whip. Such a worker is the horse we used to have hitched to
- But getting a vision of life, and working to grow upward to it,
- to crack and the little turkeys began to stick their heads out of
- the shells. Some of the little turkeys came out from the shells all
- right, but some of them stuck in the shells.
- hand." So I picked the shells off. "Little turkeys, you will never
- Did I help them? I killed them, or stunted them. Not one of the turkeys
- was "right" that I helped. They were runts. One of them was a regular
- The cards are against him. He must succeed in spite of his "advantages."
- character, for the joy of having a larger life. I am pleading with
- you to know the joy of overcoming and having the angels come and
- instead of by shaking up.
- Happiness is the joy of overcoming. It is the delight of an
- expanding consciousness. It is the cry of the eagle mounting
- upward. It is the proof that we are progressing.
- We find happiness in our work, not outside of our work. If we
- me into "taking care" of myself. And I got to taking such good care
- of myself and watching for symptoms that I became a physical wreck.
- almost every day of the year--maybe two or three times some
- day is jam full of play and vacation and good times. The year is
- one round of joy, and I ought to pay people for the privilege of
- speaking and writing to them instead of them paying me!
- If I did not like my work, of course, I would be carrying a
- I have never known a case of genuine "overwork." I have never known
- of anyone killing himself by working. But I have known of
- This is one species of selfishness.
- Many Kinds of Drunkards
- What a sad, empty lot of rattlers! Look over the bills of the movies,
- look over the newsstands and see a picture of the popular mind,
- of mental frog-pond and moral slum our boys and girls wade thru!
- are a hundred amusement drunkards to one victim of strong drink.
- crowd that finds itself back near the caboose, and as the train of
- The Lure of the City
- Do you ever get lonely in a city? How few men and women there. A
- jam of people, most of them imitations--most of them trying to look
- like they get more salary. Poor, hungry, doped butterflies of the
- will arise and go to his father's house of wisdom. But there is no
- over to contracting another set of muscles.
- Go to the bank president's office, go to the railroad magnate's
- office, go to the great pulpit, to the college chair--go to any
- place of great responsibility in a city and ask the one who fills
- the place, "Were you born in this city?"
- The reply is almost a monotony. "I born in this city? No, I was
- born in Poseyville, Indiana, and I came to this city forty years
- He glows as he tells you of some log-cabin home, hillside or
- that young person comes to the city and shakes in the barrel among
- the weaklings of the artificial life, he rises above them like the
- eagle soars above a lot of chattering sparrows.
- the farms controls the majority. The red blood of redemption flows
- these cities would drop off the map.
- for lack of leaders.
- But so many of the home towns of America are sick. Many are dying.
- It is the lure of the city--and the lure-lessness of the country.
- the city mail order house. With rural delivery, daily papers,
- country or in the small town. They have the city advantages plus
- people in this institution and only a score of guards to keep them
- insane. No two of them can agree upon how to get together and how
- to break out. So a few of us can hold them."
- thinking ever since that about three-fourths of the small towns of
- A lot of struggling churches compete with each other instead of
- out of a hundred of them will jostle with the straphangers all
- Ninety-nine out of a hundred of them might have had a larger
- spend its years raising crops of young people for the cities. That
- is the worst kind of soil impoverishment--all going out and nothing
- than all the city mail order houses.
- America is to be great, not in the greatness of a few crowded
- cities, but in the greatness of innumerable home towns.
- A School of Struggle
- Dr. Henry Solomon Lehr, founder of the Ohio Northern University at
- Ada, Ohio, one of Ohio's greatest educators, used to say with
- He encouraged his students to be self-supporting, and most of them
- courses elastic to accommodate them. He saw the need of combining
- the school of books with the school of struggle. He organized his
- for the military department. His school was one surging mass of
- of men and women of uniformly greater achievement.
- I believe the most useful schools today are schools of struggle
- schools offering encouragement and facilities for young people to
- academies and colleges, each with its handful of students around a
- teacher, as in the old days of the lyceum in Athens, when the
- From these schools came the makers and the preservers of the nation.
- to sit in the chairs and speak the last word in every department of
- O, how the students of the "dark ages" would have rejoiced to see
- this day! Many of them never saw a germ!
- personal struggle in the cushions of the "frat" house as back on
- not be rows of lithographed cans on the shelves of life. I am
- hoping they will not be shorn of their individuality, but will have
- All this school machinery is only machinery. Back of it must be
- spirit of its teachers are its greatest endowment. And sometimes
- The Salvation of a "Sucker"
- For that sentence utters one of the fundamentals of life that
- underlies every field of activity.
- string--the little E string. The trouble is so many of these human
- them the full complement of strings for their life symphonies.
- lot of discord. The violin is to give music.
- the violin must go into the great tuning school of life. Here the
- vitalized, what you have written in the book of experience.
- All of us are Christopher Columbuses, discovering the same new-old
- continents of Truth. That is the true happiness of
- idea of them. We hear the preacher utter truths and we say with
- little feeling, "Yes, that is so." We hear the great truths of life
- consciousness. This joy of discovery is the joy of living.
- thing. We could read a thousand descriptions of the sun and not
- know the sun as in one glimpse of it with our own eyes.
- I used to stand in the row of blessed little rascals in the
- hands upon hot stoves and coffee-pots, and had to get many kinds of
- taking up a collection of sympathy. "Look at my bad luck!" Fool!
- drink from a copper kettle. But I have fed him the fingers of this
- of oxen and had said the words. But I have!
- barrel always shakes all of one size to one place. You notice
- that--in a city all of one size get together.
- me out of all I had in about five seconds.
- I went over to the other side of the fairgrounds and sat down. That
- I am putting these cakes of Wonder Soap in my hat. You see I am
- hat. Now who will give me five dollars for the privilege of taking
- a cake of this wonderful soap from my hat--any cake you want, gentlemen!"
- And right on top of the pile was the cake with the ten wrapped
- to lock up. You get the pathos of that--the investments nobody
- hear of a rubber plantation in Central America? That was mine.
- I had in that drawer my "Everglade" farm. Did you ever hear of the
- I had also a bale of mining stock. I had stock in gold mines and
- my gold and silver mine stock, I often noticed that it was printed
- melon! I have heard that all my life and never got a piece of the rind.
- was selling it on his reputation. Favorite dodge of the promoter to
- dollar and got back a dollar or two of bonds and a dollar or two of
- I pitied his lack of vision. Bankers were such "tightwads." They
- had no imagination! Nothing interested me that did not offer fifty
- savings into the bottom of the sea.
- Then I got a confidential letter from a friend of our family I had
- was a friend of our family. "You have been selected because you are
- "Because of your tremendous influence you have been selected to go
- money for Tom, the friend of our family. But I see now I need not
- happened in St. Louis. It is none of your business!
- dollars to corner the wheat market of the world. That is all I paid
- I have always regarded Tom as one of my great school teachers. I
- had made up to that time, for I got the most out of it. I do not
- floor. I will not grasp it. Come away, it is a coffee-pot!
- Today when somebody offers me much more than the legal rate of
- interest I know he is no friend of our family.
- If he offers me a hundred per cent. I call for the police!
- law of compensation is never suspended. You only own what you earn.
- have been selected to receive this bunch of blisters because you
- The other night in a little town of perhaps a thousand, a banker
- took me up into his office after the lecture in which I had related
- some of the above experiences. "The audience laughed with you and
- pathetic. It was a picture of what is going on in our own little
- I wish you could see the thousands of hard-earned dollars that go
- out of our community every year into just such wildcat enterprises
- as you described. The saddest part of it is that the money nearly
- always goes out of the pockets of the people who can least afford
- accumulates by sharp practices or by undue profits never owns it.
- The owning is in the understanding of values.
- I often think if it takes me thirty-four years to begin to learn
- one sentence, I see the need of an eternity.
- To me that is one of the great arguments for eternal life--how slowly
- that life is one infinite succession of commencements and
- decorated and the joy of youth is everywhere. There is a row of
- geraniums along the front of the stage and a big oleander on the
- "We (hands at half-mast and separating) are rowing (business of
- propelling aerial boat with two fingers of each hand, head
- up over Alps of difficulty and seeing the Italy of promise and
- Did you ever hear a young preacher, just captured, just out of a factory?
- But I made the mistake I am trying to warn you against. Instead of
- of my experience, I went to the books in my father's library. "As
- chunk of Shakespeare and nailed it on page five of my sermon. "List
- "cry here." This was the spilling-point of the wet climax. I was to
- cry on the lefthand side of the page.
- I made my mistake. I got a lot of fine gestures. I got an
- grandly than ever to a mirror. Every gesture went off the bat
- last man out of the church--and I hurried. But they beat me
- out--all nine of them. When I went out the door, the old sexton
- peal from that part of your audience unrelated to you.
- Out of every thousand books published, perhaps nine hundred of them
- do not sell enough to pay the cost of printing them. As you study
- been lived. Perhaps the books that fail have just as much of truth
- vital impulse. They come out of the author's head. The books that
- live must come out of his heart. They are his own life. They come
- surging and pulsating from the book of his experience.
- The best part of our schooling comes not from the books, but from
- But the soul of the artist fainted,
- and irrigation and gargling of the throat are merely symptoms of
- attended to. She sang that afternoon in the tent, "The Last Rose of
- the same tent "The Last Rose of Summer." She had never been to
- case of Gussie and Bill Whackem.
- cannot sing "The Last Rose of Summer" yet, for you do not know very
- much about the first rose of summer. And really, I hope you'll
- sing that song, for it is the sob of a broken-hearted woman. Learn
- Why do singers try to execute songs beyond the horizon of their
- The Success of a Song-Writer
- The guest of honor at a dinner in a Chicago club was a woman who is
- one of the widely known song-writers of this land. As I had the
- "How did you get your songs known? How did you know what kind of
- resources. I have had years of struggle. I have been sick and
- asks for more of them."
- "Just a Wearyin' for You," "His Lullaby" and many more of those
- simple little songs so full of the pathos and philosophy of life
- No. Books of theory and harmony and expression only teach us how to
- the life of the song.
- the University of Hard Knocks. She here became the song philosopher
- popular heart. And while we have a continual inundation of popular
- My friends, I am not arguing that you and I must drink the dregs of
- around me in the affairs of everyday life, that none of us will
- ever know real success in any line of human endeavor until that
- success flows from the fullness of our experience just as the songs
- came from the life of Carrie Jacobs-Bond.
- The world is full of theorists, dreamers, uplifters, reformers, who
- or trampling upon their fellow men they dream of helping. Their
- the anvil of experience.
- Many of the most brilliant theorists have been the greatest
- anything you could think of was discussed, and perhaps the page. He
- His conversation was largely made up of classical quotations.
- But he was one of the most helpless men I have ever seen in
- himself. He could quote a page of John Locke, but somehow the page
- a misfit on earth. He was liable to put the gravy in his coffee
- of the things in his memory. Since I have grown up I always think
- of that man as an intellectual cold storage plant.
- The greatest book is the textbook of the University of Hard Knocks,
- the Book of Human Experience the "sermons in stones" and the "books
- Note the sweeping, positive statements of the young person.
- Note the cautious, specific statements of the person who has lived
- Tuning the Strings of Life
- of Human Experience. Each has a different fight to make and a
- different burden to carry. Each one of us has more trouble than
- I know there are chapters of heroism in the lives of you older
- ones. You have cried yourselves to sleep, some of you, and walked
- A good many of you were bumped today or yesterday, or maybe years
- Maybe some of you are naturally bright!
- of you are going to know the keen sorrow of having the one you
- You will see all that seems to make life livable lost out of your
- These bumps and tragedies and Waterloos draw the strings of the
- unworthy go out of our lives and as peace, harmony, happiness, love
- Memories of the Price We Pay
- That "Last Day of School"
- I walked thirteen miles a day, six and a half miles each way, most of
- old back-country "last day of school exhibition"? The people that
- great baskets of provender and we had a feast. We covered the
- school desks with boards, and then covered the boards with piles of
- fried chicken, doughnuts and forty kinds of pie.
- Then we had a "doings." Everybody did a stunt. We executed a lot of
- back of the ears! And into them! So many of them wore collars that
- I can see them speaking their "pieces." I can see "The Soldier of
- got up before that "last day of school" audience and opened my
- mouth, it was a great opening, but nothing came out. It came out of
- was "such a good man" and a "pillar of the church." I used to wonder,
- "due at corncutting," as a souvenir of my first schoolteaching.
- of its own household.
- And he has gotten his lecture out of that home town. The heroes and
- could live in that hotel was a superior order of being. But the
- hotel has a superior order of vitality.
- a picture of the school in that town that had been taken twenty-one
- I got a truer perspective of life that night. Did you ever sit
- alone with a picture of your classmates taken twenty-one years
- A class of brilliant and gifted young people went out to take
- charge of the world. They were so glad the world had waited so long
- on them. They were so willing to take charge of the world. They
- not the one you may be thinking of! No, it was Jim Lambert. He had
- As commencement day approached, the committee of the class
- appointed for that purpose took Jim back of the schoolhouse and
- on the stage back of the oleander commencement night.
- goddess at the general delivery window and superintendent of the
- stamp-licking department of the home postoffice. The boy who was
- wife was speaker of the house.
- Most of them were doing very well even Jim Lambert. Jim had become
- the head of one of the big manufacturing plants of the South, with
- a lot of men working for him. The committee that took him out
- They hung a picture of Mr. Lambert in the high school at the last
- a bit of cheer from the story of Jim?
- the barrel, and now as I called the roll on them, most of them that
- Out of that fifty-four, one had gone to a pulpit, one had gone to
- almost every note on the keyboard of human possibility had been
- struck by the one school of fifty-four.
- yet most of them seemed already to have decided their destinies.
- that the foolish dreams of success faded before the natural
- unfolding of talents, which is the real success. I saw better that
- work as a man. The boy who went to the bottom of things in school
- was going to the bottom of things in manhood. Which had helped him
- to go to the top of things!
- Jim Lambert had merely followed the call of talents unseen in him
- him! Why was it he could always get the better of me? Well, he went
- on trading knives and getting the better of people. Now, twenty-one
- teacher's model boy. All the mothers of the community used to say
- to their own reprobate offspring, "Why can't you be like Harry?
- He'll be President of the United States some day, and you'll be in
- believe Mr. Webster defines a model as a small imitation of the
- I have said little about the girls of the school. Fact was, at that
- way. But I naturally thought of Clarice, our social pet of the
- her. Most of the girls who shone with less social luster became the
- happy homemakers of the community.
- But as I looked into the face of Jim Lambert in the picture, my
- heart warmed at the sight of another great success--a sweet-faced
- her grace and sweetness thru it all, and the influence of her
- a loving father, plenty of money, opportunity and a great career
- the town proud of him.
- I was the janitor of the schoolhouse. Some of my classmates will
- the careers of Frank and the rest of them seemed to begin. They
- were going off to college and going to do so many wonderful things.
- But the week after commencement I had to go into a printing office,
- Many a time as I plugged at the "case" I would think of Frank and wonder
- Twenty-one years afterward as I got off the train in the home town,
- I had the story of a tragedy--the tragedy of modern unpreparedness.
- It was the story of the boy who had every opportunity, but who had
- all the struggle taken out of his life. He never followed his
- It revived the memory of the story of Ben Hur.
- trial at the hands of this world. That is why the great Judge has
- he pulls on the oar. Day after day he writhes under the sting of
- the lash. Years of the cruel injustice pass. Ben Hur is the
- helpless victim of a mocking fate.
- office, or wherever we work we seem so often like slaves bound to
- the oar and pulling under the sting of the lash of necessity. Life
- seems one futureless round of drudgery. We wonder why. We often
- stronger forearms. They are bands of steel that swell in the
- forearms of Ben Hur. They swing those flying Arabians into the
- mistakes in the bookkeeping. As we pull on the oar, so often lashed
- interest in the bank account of strength. Sooner or later the time
- galleys of life by pulling on the oar.
- That is why I thanked God as I stood at the grave of my classmate.
- I thanked God for parents who believed in the gospel of struggle,
- I am not an example of success.
- But I am a very grateful pupil in the first reader class of The
- University of Hard Knocks.
- THERE is a little silvery sheet of water in Minnesota called Lake Itasca.
- "Ole!" you will exclaim, "the lake is leaking. What is the name of
- So even the Father of Waters has to begin as a creek. We are at the
- It wabbles around thru the woods of Minnesota. It doesn't know
- to the place where all of us get sooner or later. The place where
- Paul came on the road to Damascus. The place of the "heavenly vision."
- get out of the county." That is a fact, but he is not trying to get
- out of the county. The Mississippi is only trying to go south.
- The Mississippi knows nothing about the Gulf of Mexico. He does not
- know that he has to go hundreds of miles south. He is only trying
- My friends, here is one of the best pictures I can find in nature
- of what it seems to me our lives should be. I hear a great many
- Value of a Goal in Life." But the direction is vastly more
- we flow. All of us can start! And then go on south!
- not at the end of the journey, for there is no end. Success is
- It is a divine call--the call of our unfolding talents to be used.
- direction he would never have been heard of.
- That is why I am making it the slogan of my life--GO ON SOUTH AND
- education--and religion. And the only business of life.
- So many of those young goslings believe that. They quit and get
- canned. They think they have gotten to the Gulf of Mexico when they
- have not gotten out of the woods of Minnesota. Go on south!
- The Plague of Incompetents
- But contentment with present achievement is the damnation of the race.
- The mass of the human family never go on south far enough to
- Nine out of ten stenographers who apply for positions can write a
- think that is being a stenographer, when it is merely a symptom of
- Nine out of ten workmen cannot be trusted to do what they advertise
- efficient. Many a professional man is in the same class.
- Half of our life is spent in getting competents to repair the
- botchwork of incompetents.
- is the opiate that Nature administers to deaden the pains of mediocrity.
- Just because our hair gets frosty or begins to rub off in spots, we
- A-B-C's. I do not utter that as a bit of sentiment, but as the
- great fundamental of our life. I hope the oldest in years sees that
- of your gray hair or baldness. If they get on the inside of the head,
- to employ gray-headed men? They have found that so many of them
- are the most valuable, for they have the vision and wisdom of many
- years and the enthusiasm and "pep" and courage of youth.
- person in the pulpit, in the schoolroom, in the office, behind the
- "Please don't throw it up to me now. I am just as ashamed of it as
- the people on the platform who were contented with their offerings,
- were not trying to improve them, and were lost in admiration of
- From what I can learn of Methuselah, he never grew past copper-toed
- The spectacle of Sarah Bernhardt, past seventy, thrilling and
- gripping audiences with the fire and brilliancy of youth, is
- acting, for she remains the "Divine Sarah" with no crippling of her
- work. She looks younger than many women of half her years. "The
- ninety-two was working as hard and hopefully as any man of the
- the Odd Fellows' Home near Elkins, where he lived. On the porch of
- the home was a row of old men inmates. The senator shook hands with
- the face of seven thousand failures. Today he brings forth a
- even get on the back page of the Egyptian newspapers till he was
- If Moses had retired at seventy-nine, we'd never have heard of him.
- pitching horseshoes up the alley and talking about "ther winter of
- Imagine Moses living today amidst the din of the high school
- orations on "The Age of the Young Man" and the Ostler idea that you
- time" when he becomes the leader of the Israelite host.
- You are liable to drop off any minute. Here is a pair of slippers.
- And keep out of the night air. It is so hard on old folks."
- what to do. Watch things happen from now on. Children of
- Thursday. They get ready the resolutions of respect--
- to General Moses' private office. It is his busy day. They have to
- man. You are eighty-five years old and full of honors. We are the
- to hold that funeral until I get this work pushed off so I can
- irreverence. It is joyful reverence. It is the message to all of
- All the multitudes of the Children of Israel died in the Wilderness.
- They were afraid to go on south. Only two of them went on south--
- Joshua and Caleb. They put the giants out of business.
- So another crop of Americans came into the limelight. If we modern
- They say nobody loves them. Which is often a fact. Nobody loves the
- They say, "Only a few more days of trouble, only a few more
- child and I'm not happy now. Them was the best days of my life
- the horrors of childhood could not be hired to live it over again.
- I wish I could forget many of my childhood memories. I remember the
- I often wonder how I ever lived thru my childhood. I would not take
- nurture and admiration of the Lord. I am not just sure I quoted
- Elder Berry always stayed for dinner. He was one of the easiest men
- at the last donation. We had one of those stretchable tables,
- I would see mother put on the tallest pile of mashed potatoes you
- wonder why we never could have a big dinner but what a lot of
- The hungriest one of that assemblage would have to go in the next
- was only one piece of chicken left. It was the neck. O, Lord, spare
- to another piece of the chicken?"
- boy?" He would come over to the remains of Brother Parlette's boy.
- He would often put his hand in benediction upon my head.
- you are seeing the best days of your life right now as a child."
- The dear old liar! I was seeing the worst days of my life. If there
- and today is the best day of all. Go on south!
- days. Of course, you can be happy as a child. A boy can be happy
- more like mine like a piece of sandpaper. There are chapters of
- happiness undreamed of in his philosophy.
- A child can be full of happiness and only hold a pint. But
- must hold a barrel! Go on south. Of course, I do not mean
- circumference. But every year we go south increases our capacity
- And I have to say that to many questions, "I do not know." I often
- They have built a great concrete obstacle clear across the path of
- you see the struggle of overcoming the obstacle develops light and
- the light and power from the struggle. The great city of St. Louis,
- We develop our light and power. We are rivers of light and power,
- be developed. So many of us do not understand that. We look
- Thank God! You are blessed of Providence. They do not waste the
- obstacles. The presence of the obstacles means that there is a lot
- of light and power in you to be developed. If you see no obstacles,
- The fact that we are not buried is no proof that we are alive. Go
- storeboxes. There they are blocking traffic at the postoffice and
- the guests stand up. There they are--rows of retired farmers who
- They block the wheels of progress and get in the way of the people
- trying to go on south. They say of the people trying to do things.
- because they "take money outa town." They do not take any of their
- last glimpse of the book in the running brook.
- is the supreme test of character. That is, Why go on south? Not for
- The Mississippi does not resign. He does not tell a tale of woe. He
- alchemy of Nature, the Mississippi has taken over all the poison
- made it a part of himself. And he is greater and farther south!
- Day by day the Father of Waters goes on south, taking them over and
- purifying them and making them a part of himself. Nothing can
- along such a heart full of the injuries that other people have done
- us, that sometimes we are bank to bank full of poison and a menace
- we ought to forget. We need schools of memory, but we need schools
- of forgettery, even more.
- you help the most often are the least grateful in return?
- teacher, the editor, the man in office, the business man, the
- father and mother--every one who tries to carry on the work of the
- valley for praise or blame, for appreciation or lack of it. You do
- for outside thanks instead of inside thanks. They were trying to
- streamlet starting southward thru the forests of Minnesota, there
- writing the first chapter of this wonderful book in the running brook.
- life. Father of Waters, you have fought a good fight. You are
- conquering gloriously. You bear upon your bosom the commerce of
- you get in the right channel, saw you learn the lessons of your
- And may we read it into our own lives. May we get the vision of
- getting the lessons of the bumps, the strength from the struggle
- and thus making it a part of ourselves, and thus growing greater.
- Where shall we stop going south? At the Gulf of Mexico?
- And when he comes to the end of his physical banks, he pushes on
- When you and I come to our Gulf of Mexico, we must push right on
- into the great Gulf of the Beyond, to go on south unfolding thru eternity.
- HOW often we say, "I wish I had a million!" Perhaps it is a
- O, the problem is not how to get money, but how to get rid of
- If the burden were lifted from most of us we would go to wreck.
- When you hear the orator speak and you note the ease and power of
- his work, do you think of the years of struggle he spent in
- preparing? Do you ever think of the times that orator tried to
- When you hear the musician and note the ease and grace of the
- performance, do you think of the years of struggle and overcoming
- necessary to produce that finish and grace? That is the story of
- the actor, the author and every other one of attainment.
- I have builded?" says the Belshazzar of material prosperity as he
- that some of us will have to go to jail to do our best work.
- Do you remember that Saul of Tarsus would have never been
- remembered had he lived the life of luxury planned for him? He had
- rising from the ashes of defeat?
- Then, children, when you stand in the row of graduates on
- O UNIVERSITY OF HARD KNOCKS, we learn to love you more with each
- that you are saving us from ourselves. But O, how most of us must
- I know no better way to close this lecture than to tell you of a
- tho twelve years of my life had dropped out of it, and had been
- triangular car that hoists them out of the hungry chasm thirty-five
- hundred feet up the side of a granite cliff, to the top of Echo Mountain.
- Here they find that Echo Mountain is but a shelf on the side of
- Every minute a new thrill, and no two thrills alike. Five miles of
- lift. There is a wooden shelf nailed to the side of the perpendicular
- rockwall where his life depends upon the honesty of the man who drove
- He looks over the edge of the shelf downward, and then turns to the other
- side to look at the face of the cliff they are hugging, and discovers
- at the summit of Mount Lowe is to get a picture so wonderful it
- feet, more than a mile, into the orange belt of Southern California.
- It spreads out below in one great mosaic of turquoise and amber
- field-glass sweeps one panoramic picture of a hundred miles or more.
- forty miles is the blue stretch of the Pacific Ocean, on westward
- the faint outlines of Catalina Islands. The ocean seems so close
- And Mount Lowe is but a shelf on the side of the higher Sierras.
- This is one of the workshops of the infinite!
- down upon clouds. I thought of the cloud that had covered me in the
- over me, and there were millions of miles of sunshine above me. I
- the clouds of trouble today, BUT THE SUN IS SHINING!
- clearly the plan of a human life. The rocks, the curves and the
- struggles fit into a divine engineering plan to soften the
- steepness of the ascent. The bumps are lifts. The things that seem
- know it was one of the greatest blessings of my life. It closed one
- Late that day I was clambering down the side of Mount Lowe. Down in
- lower and lower until his red lips kissed the cheek of the Pacific.
- The glory of the sunset filled sea and sky with flames of gold and
- fountains of rainbows. Such a sunset from the mountain-side is a
- promise of heaven.
- The shadows of sunset widened over the valley. Presently all the
- up to the summit. The beams of the setting sun were yet gilding
- Child of humanity, are you in the storm? Go on upward. Are you in
- Some day my night will come. It will spread over all this valley of
- shall be in the new day of the mountain-top, forever above the night.
- I shall find this mountain-top just another shelf on the side of
- the Mountain of Infinite Unfolding. I shall have risen perhaps only
- the first mile. I shall have millions of miles yet to rise.
- entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared
- The Big Business of Life
- This book proves that the real big business is that of getting our
- Dr. J. G. Crabbe, President of the State Teachers College,
- "The Big Business of Life is a real joy to read. It is big and
- where. It is truly `A Book of Rejoicing'."
- "In The Big Business of Life we have the practical philosophy
- secret of living to the full. And happiness is to be sought
- a smile, and beneath each one is a bit of wisdom it would do us
- a world of good to learn. It recalls the saying of the wise man
- Many who have read The Big Business of Life
- University of Hard Knocks," which, they add, is
- The Salvation of a Sucker
- chapters in "The University of Hard Knocks."
- John C. Carroll, President of the Hyde Park State Bank of Chicago,
- bought 1000 copies of the booklet "It's Up to You!" and of it he
- friend. I would rather be author of it than president of the bank."
- Employers in every line of business are buying quantities of "It's
- William Jennings Bryan says of the booklet "Go On South": "It is
- one of the great stories of the day."
- Charles Grilk of Davenport, says: "My two children and I read the
- Instruct us to send one of these booklets to your friends. It will
- End of Project Gutenberg etext of "The University of Hard Knocks"
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